We do the same things on an everyday basis but it never feels monotonous
We live in nostalgia of times we never experienced
We experience time like its real but we reminisce in times before we even invented clocks
We remind ourselves that self-love is the pinnacle of living so we always climb the mountain until we get to tired to continue
Find an already dug cave and rest for the rest of our lives
We are always searching for our true selves but I lost myself on the trip there
I was so burdened by mainstream and underground media that I convinced myself that I found myself
Somewhere between an introvert and an extremist
Im going back to try to find the root of it but the only numbers that come up are uneven
Im reliving old relationships through new ones
Im going back to my old ways
Im writing 3 pages but with no point
The proof shows in my little black book
And explaining all my ideas through loose rhyme and metaphor
These ideas feel like my dads jeans
Too big but maybe with enough comfort and beer i'll fill into them
Im always talking about living in the now but my projection screams im a futurist
Im conflicted on where I want to be
Im not sure where I might end up
Im still not sure this makes any sense
Im writing in the present tense
I feel tense at the present moment
We’re pitching tents in the forests to get closer to nature
But only to blog text tweet repost and glorify about how we “love nature”
But only through smartphone lenses
The closest I felt to nature is when I joined it in a joint
I hope that my pale complexion wont be ruined by the sun I fell closest to
Im trying to fix myself like the axis every time I make a trip around the sun
My dad says “im proud of you son” but im not sure he knows why hes proud
I told him “dad pride is going to get you killed“ so he felt proud that I knew what he taught me what the original son of god taught him
We feel pride but only in major accomplishments
Like a c major scale
We only site it as major because we felt happiness in them
I felt pride when I came to terms with feelings
Even in sadness and shame and guilt
I felt pride because I reached my pinnacle
And I never felt like I settled half way up
But maybe I did
And at the pinnacle
Ill find my true self
And hope that all my selfish versions are there
Reading what they wrote
But reaping what each other sowed