1. |
kill your darlings
01:58
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Kill your darlings
Kill your parents
Kill any force in your life
Destructive or not
Kill yourself in the early hours
Kill time and kill time
Until time kills you
And you are left alone
In an infinite realm of time and space
no more but no less of now
until you become time and time becomes you
one in the same
time, oh I hate time
hate confinements
hate time spent
hate time wasted hate time when time is real
I hate it when it’s not too
I hate feeling like the time is running out
I hate time when the clock ticks in the dead of night
And all that’s left is the ticking and the thinking and the breathing and the ticking
And the ticking
And the ticking
Until the ticking stops
The tickets punched
The clocking in and out
When time spent working results in time spent wasted
Wasted in parking lots
Wasted in friend’s basements
Wasted in my bedroom
Wasting time in establishments learning about how I learn
Wasting my money I spent time earning
Why waste time and money in organized structure
Why structure a poem
Why waste time not perfecting prose and delivery
And why waste time to impress myself
And why not just write until I disappear
And my mind is gone
Far off somewhere else
Drifting and floating
And why is time just floating around me
Moving me to the four corners of my imagination
What is time and why does it control me
Why do I have so many questions
Why can I never answer them
Questioning myself
Why is time still relevant
What if all time spent is all time wasted
And no time spent is not wasted
Existence is wasted on the worrying about the time before and after death
The time between the first and the last line
And what if we all realized that the time in between meant nothing
Abd none of us meant anything
And that the time we wasted
Wondering our significance
Pondering our legacy
And contemplating longevity
Was the time most wasted
And if time wasted could even have levels to it
And what if we wasted all our time not killing our darlings
And maximizing time wasted to portray ideas that have no truth
What if we just wasted some time?
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2. |
loitering
01:54
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Havent written in a while
Some would call me the loitering poet
Im sticking around the subject too long
I wont move on past this point
Im bound in eternal life and death
Hovering around the same topics
What is time
Why are you my master
I will break my chains and loiter further into linear time
Damn you linear time
You wanted me to move forward
I just wanted to move still
I didn’t want to move
I wanted to be bound to my bed
I wanted to remain until the headspace moved
All I had to do is move
I put a little boogie in my thoughts
I moved on from the way of thinking
Maybe im just on the second half of the two step
Ill just step back
Ill just go back to place and return to form
Ill just form clay in my hands and sculpt infinite possibilities
But im only given so much clay
How am I to move forward if the bane of me is to repeat
Ill repeat the words until they feel foreign
Ill repeat the words until I move to the forwardness of the past
Until I graduate college and get past the redundancy of equally boring living
Until I get a new thought that can reverberate through my new space
I want to maneuver through the matrix and arise in a pod and am faced with agent smith
I wanna capture it all on film so the cloud cant delete me and im stuck where I was and cant go back
I don’t wanna go back to where I was
I call out to god “I think I need your help”
I shock myself like its therapy to get rid of the thought
I will get him out of my mind by any means necessary
Ill pray to myself in hedonistic prayer until I answer myself
And ill forgive myself for falling off
I never want to fall off track but I got derailed
Im trying to arrive at the point but its nothing but an optical illusion
And the time itll take to get there will make me arrive at the point
And the point is dull its not sharp
And it told me to sharpen up
So I read every night to educate
I put Schopenhauer on the back burner for Malcolm
But ill come back Arthur
And so will you
But the sign reads “no loitering”
So I gotta move on for now
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3. |
jazz rap
01:27
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I dance around my room to jazz rap
Im in a good place
I feel good when I talk about myself
That’s why I start every line with I
Im a hedonist
I cant get enough of myself on Sundays
The sun leaves me in a daze
Its been gone for a cold winter
I felt warm when I stood in the cold I felt good when you told me you loved me
I started to cry when I looked in your eyes
I started to feel good again when I had a week off
Who let me feel creative again
Its hard not to feel jaded about how you feel
I felt green when you said she was more than me
I feel like owning up to it makes me a better person but we all know that’s not true
Im writing quantity over quality
I want to make my grand return but I have to sift through all the trash to get to something grandiose
Im trying to write in new books
I want my memory to be jogged
Last year I was writing like a madman
Where is he now
Hes lost his spark
Thank god I have matches and only a few are black
I wish I could’ve translated all my anxieties into thoughts and words but how do I do that when I feel worried about writing words
How can I feel if im afraid to claim my feelings
Sometimes I take it out physically
I brush my teeth until they bleed
Ill spit out the blood and try again
I don’t know how itll translate but ill take a stab in the dark
Plug in the nightlight
Ill see if I can still find the target
Whats the target anyway
Theres no bullseye anywhere in sight
Maybe the target is to create something great
But who knows
Im just dancing around to rap about the water temple
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4. |
mr prime minister
01:52
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America’s gonna ask me to go to war with them
Theyre gonna drop the bombs again
How am I gonna kill Koreans if I don’t even eat meat
How are they gonna ask when im not a part of them
Why would I go to war
I couldn’t qualify if I wanted a chance
Im a red skinned communist and I hate America
I wont go if you ask me to
I wouldn’t give you a fighting chance
I wouldn’t even try to help you
But I will only go on a few conditions
I will go if you stop lying about what youre doing
Mr Trudeau, how are you helping all the missing and murdered native women
Why wont you stop lying
I would’ve voted for you if I had a chance
I really wanted to like you
I want to start a riot on parliament
I want answers from you mr prime minister
Im glad youre legalizing marijuana
Youll make things much easier for me
But my heart still aches when I hear that so many natives still aren’t living properly
You make me want to revolt
I cant go anywhere to protest
Im stuck with student debt
I couldn’t even drive if I wanted to I don’t have a license
This is me speaking out
Justin, I want you to listen to me
I want you to listen to the people talking to you
I want you to listen to what you used to say
Its been over two years
Stop lying about progress
Stop lying to your citizens
I don’t want to hear more of your bullshit
I want you to do what you said
Please listen
Im tired of begging
Just try to listen to us
I don’t want to go to war with korea
I don’t really want to go to war with you either
I just want you to take control
Mr prime minister, neither of us want to go to war
Theres no point in fighting
Theres no guns and theres no violence
But please do something now
Im starting to lose trust
My confidence is wavering
Mr Trudeau I can vote now
I want you to prove to me that I wasn’t wrong two years ago
I want to stop the war and I don’t want to be drafted
Donald trump wont do anything for anyone
This is no surprise
He longs to go to war
I know you don’t
So I hope we can wave the white flag and sign an agreement here
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